Sunday, May 21, 2017

A Really Long Post

I feel like I do so well with posting regularly...and then I fall off the face of the earth for a month. I'll be honest, some things in my personal life were putting a damper on my dance life and I hate when that happens. That is what is so hard about doing this at now 28 (*sobs*) If I had been doing this at 14 or 18 I don't think I'd have the same stresses in my life. But I can't be regretful about that because I would not have my TC, my friends, or my dance family. I hate to quote Miley Cryus...but it's the climb, right?

Here's a quick run down about some of the annoyances in my life:

-My job...I don't kiss butt enough so I'm probably looking for a new job.
-My I said in a previous entry, we are in a down swing, folks. Has told me that "people talk about me" and that "people are nice to my face, but they think I'm pathetic." This actually had me acting pretty emo for a bit, but I've come to the conclusion that he's jealous of my success. That, and it's an expensive thing that constantly grates him the wrong way when he see me leaving with my sparkly crystal covered dress, fake hair, and handmade shoes (which I think already need to be replaced *sobs again*) it just reminds him of other more useful things I could be using my money on. I get it, but support my quirkiness...PLEASE?
-My elbow...most of you know that I fell down a flight of stairs at work about two weeks ago. If you don't...I fell down a flight of stairs at work almost two weeks ago. I had to leave work to go to the walk in. They thought it was broken...luckily it isn't they are hoping badly bruised or muscles, but I was in a cast for a week and a half, I was out for work for that long too. Couldn't drive, couldn't dance. I ended up dancing in my show case last night because the doctor wants me to move get back to moving it and there were numbers that would not have been able to perform had I not danced. However, I missed both May competitions because I was afraid of falling/ getting bumped. Thus I am now 28 with dances still in Novice. People around me are winning and close to Prelim. I'm trying not to get annoyed or discouraged, but I'm hoping the down swing is coming to a end.

Not an annoyance but the upcoming release of my book has also been a time sucker but at least it is something positive and exciting going on to counteract that giant blurb of things that were annoying.

Okay, There were two April competitions that I didn't blog about. The first was Horgan almost exactly a month ago. This one is low key, but always is long because they do all age novice soft shoe, then all ages novice hard shoe, so and so forth. Since I'm in the oldest age group, I'm always the last dance of the day. Plenty of time to rest in between dances and I had a pretty good day. I ended up wearing my school dress the entire day since my mom and TC were not there and I placed in 3 of my 4 dances. I got 3rd in the two novice dances and a fourth in reel. Once again, I thought my hornpipe went really well and I didn't get anything.

The following weekend I went to the Gray School Feis and I'm debating on going back next year. I just don't seem to do well at it. I was lucky to have my mother with me, but I only ended up getting a third in treble jig and I think it was generous because the musician played the jig SO SLOW that nearly all of us had an issue with it. The girl I danced with in reel rolled her ankle and I was unable to get around her. I thought the other two went well and I was just out of placing in them. I also tried on a long wig and it looked awesome! I'm hoping to buy it when I get to Prelim/Oireachtas this year. I'd say sooner but I'll get to that.

Yesterday was my 2nd Showcase with SRL and I thought it was a great time. My pre-beginners all danced without being scared, all of the dances I was in went off without a hitch and the best part was I won a scholarship so I can attend summer camp for free. I had to write an essay about how the summer program helps us for Oirerachtas. I  hoped to get it but wasn't sure because of my age that it would be possible. I will also be assisting at the lower level camp too!

Okay, now here was the part of the post where I was supposed to tell you that I'm motivated and I practiced for an hour today and how hard I'm going to work to accomplish my goals going forward. Well, in the middle of this post my lovely husband told me "You can't sign up for any more competitions until you have a new job." Look, I know where he's coming from. There is a very good chance that I will not be have my contract renewed and I know he doesn't want us to lose our house or whatever. It just sucks. Like I feel like a crazy person because I have these goals and I'm so upset about not being able to compete. As it is, I'm upset that I didn't accomplish my goal of being a full prizewinner by my 28th birthday. Now I may not get to feis again until who knows. I know in someways this isn't bad. I'll have time to perfect my steps, but I just wish he'd be sensitive to my feelings, and maybe find proactive ways to help me instead of just making me upset about the things that bring me joy.

Anyone know of full time work? Seriously...


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