I had started this post after the feis on Sunday, but I wasn't super excited to share. I'm still not really motivated to have a super amazing post, but here we go.
The Lynn Feis from an & over perspective:
Honestly, I feel awful for saying this but...I maybe not do this one next year. The biggest reason is that it was a long way to go. Even though it was in Connecticut, I've gone to New York Competitions that were closer. It was also really crowded and I danced against the most people I've ever danced against...well ever. I've never had two lines of dancers before so while I feel lucky that I placed at all, I really feel like I was intimidated by having so many other dancers. Plus we danced three at a time on small stages. EEK.
Now I know what your thinking. "You'll be used to it when you get to prizewinner!" or "Why are you so down on yourself, you placed when there were so many people that's great!" This is what is making this post so hard. I'm proud of myself but at the same time I'm like "Well I got a first and a second a few weeks ago when there were less people. Does it mean that I had a better day? Does it mean that when there are more girls I'm mediocre at best? I hate that dance is subjective sometimes because it makes me feel like a head case sometimes.
There were aspects of my dancing that were not perfect. My shoe slipped off my heel in my slip jig which was disappointing since I thought the rest of it went really well. I didn't stop or anything but I'm sure it was a confidence killer (I ended up getting 5th so it really could have been worse) My clicks in my treble jig were wrong as well (another 5th) but I've since worked on that. Maybe if there had been less people the rest of my dancing would have made up for those two dances but so is life. I still got two medals. The third places are starting to rack up.
So I'm trying to make this feis a learning experience. My friend is in a similar position as me except she is trying to get into prelim instead of prizewinner. She's so close and it's borderline frustrating. Her mother gave me some great advice that the perfectionist me isn't happy with but it's so true. "It will happen when it's supposed to happen. You'll be the dancer you are meant to be when it's time for that next level."
I guess I have to believe that's soon because I've been in Novice partially since February and fully since April and I've got 11 thirds, a second, and two firsts (I'm not counting the first I got when I did light jig alone) Clearly I'm on the right track as my friend's mom also reminded me that there are plenty of people who leave competitions empty handed. I need to be proud of myself that hasn't happened since I was in adults almost a year ago. I have proved to myself that I know my harder steps and run through them with no problem. It's time to drill and perfect things in each dance so that they go from thirds to seconds and from there to firsts. This will happen when I'm ready. It may have to be when other girls who have been winning countless times get to move up first but it will happen. I've still got over a year to get there.
Well that's all for now...It's nearly bedtime and I've written so much today! Yay Freelancing!