Disclaimer: This is not a dance related post. If you aren't interested you can skip this post. If you want to learn other fun things about me, keep reading!
So when I'm not teaching or dancing, or working on house stuff or whatever, I love to write. (Haha clearly, I have this blog) but I mean fiction. I've been writing stories as long as I have been able to hold a pencil. It's therapeutic, it's like dance, just much more sedentary. I've always had thousands of ideas (thus why my title is name what it's named. Can't take credit, saw this post on Pinterest!) I've had plenty of partial manuscripts, but I just finished one last month. Like this story is my baby. It took over a year to write (granted there were several months where it sat and I did nothing to it) and something about it just felt different than anything else I've done.
I don't know if there are other writer's out there, but this was the first time where my characters were not based off of people in my life. Despite this, I was more invested in my characters than ever before. I felt awful for what I was putting my heroine through, but I knew it was making her a stronger, better person. My heart was breaking for my secondary characters in a star crossed romance. Please, I am in love with my hero, I feel possessive of him and care for him like he were my husband (They do have the same given name. Not intentional, it just worked.) This was the first story where I literally felt like my character's were screaming at me to get up and write their story. The story came from a nightmare I had where someone was chasing me and all of sudden there was this knight in shining armor that knew me and whisked me away to safety. Like I feel nutty writing about this, but I'm in love with my little fantasy world I made up and all the people that live within it, even my villain who I pity even though he did some horrible things.
It's 114k words, it's even gone through it's first batch of revisions. I read it to my 5th grade class, they loved it. I'm so self conscious, I rarely share my work with anyone save my younger brother (He's the next to work through it) and they shocked me. They begged me to read more. They screamed when there were cliffhangers. They told me they hated me when I pushed my characters to breaking points, they got starry-eyed when my main character's fell in love. Maybe Just maybe, this one has a fighting chance?
So if there are any writers out there, how do you not become scared to publish your work? Something you put your heart and soul into? I'm afraid if I submit it to be represented or published that I'm going to be disappointed. I know I'm very passionate and strong willed about dance, but there is something so intimate about sharing that hard work. It's like dancing a reel naked on the world's stage. I expect to be ridiculed and laughed at. But what if, what if by some freak chance they love it? I walk around Barnes and Noble and day dream about what it would be like to see my story on a shelf. God that would be amazing.
The reason why I've been thinking about this so much is that I've had ideas for a prequel and a sequel but I'm letting it sit. I don't want to burn myself out. That and I've become obsessed with a certain fandom (cough cough. Star Wars.) So I was like "I'll try my hand at fan-fiction!" Yah...apparently it's not for me. I'm fifteen pages in and it's literally the stalest, most awkward writing I've ever done. I'm convinced it's because they aren't my own characters. While I might love the characters, they don't have the same effect on me. So I think I need to slip back into my fantasy world and stick with what I know. (Which is apparently is a strange mix of Celtic, Hebrew and Medieval, not space.) But do I pick up where I left off? Or go a slightly different route and write my prequel with my star crossed lovers? Decisions, decisions.
Back to dance posts, just wanted to vent,