Saturday, January 30, 2016

Ambition or Insanity?

What? I've got both days of the weekend without a feis? I'm not travelling anywhere with a dress bag and non-messy snacks? While it's good to rest and spend time with the husband, this is WEIRD. Better get used to it because after next weekend's double feis frenzy, I don't have an official feis until April 2nd. My class feis is March 5th but that should be a fun, low pressure situation where I learn a lot about my dancing that I can apply to the future.

On the update side of things, I've learned both steps of my slow hornpipe and can do them to music. Honestly, I get more anxiety on the directions I'm supposed to move instead of what comes next, but seeing as how I started learning new steps two weeks ago...I'm not concerned and I know that it will come. I'm going to build more on this later, but I'm amazed in all that I've been able to accomplish since August and even more so since I've joined the Novice/Prizewinner class twice a week instead of just Monday's. (I used to go to an advanced beginner class on Thursday before the New Year) I'm hitting 50% of my low clicks and I actually hit a front click in my steps yesterday! My TC and I had a moment in the middle of it. Haha. Unfortunately, I have not mastered the secret formula for hitting clicks all the time, it seems that when I'm not trying and/or she's not looking I hit them and when I'm trying I get nothing but air or the leather part of my shoe. I know the answer to this is practicing and walking around with my hard shoes on whenever I have a free moment, but I will be honest, practicing has become non-existent due to it being winter. :( This needs to change, especially since I've moved up to a new level of competition, but it's hard when there is no where to practice that isn't cold and frigid. Walking around in my hard shoes is something that could be done inside and as weird as this sounds, listening to dance music and visualizing myself dancing has been really beneficial. Regardless of winter dance problems, I am so pleased with my progress and I can't wait until I can practice and feel that much more confident about things. Plus now that I'm finished with doing nothing but hornpipe I can focus back on upgrading my slip jig (so close, half a step to go!) and polishing my slow treble jig. I registered everything in Novice for the April feis so here goes nothing!

Okay, so the reason why I titled this entry Ambition or Insanity is that as usual I've been thinking and the best way for me to sort things out is to write them down. You know me, I'm all about goals and I am happy that many of them are accomplished. I had someone just tell me the other day that they wish they could turn out as much as I do when they dance. (To which I wanted to tape record her and my dancing and send it to my old TC) I have slow speed hard shoe dances. I marvel at this. Those of you who never were in adults, or are just young...I don't know if you understand how much this amazes me. I was under the impression that I would be doing my fast speeds with my thick black tights forever. I feel like I'm thriving. I can leap, I can click (because we went from zero to double clicks in my old schools warm ups) I can run and do our warm up with out stopping. My pace is slow, I know people go around me, but while they have to stop and rest or tie their shoe or whatever, I'm still running. I tell people who have been dancing for longer than me how far I've come in almost 2 years and that I'm dancing at the Oireachtas this year and their amazed. If I can exceed the expectations for my peers, why can't I exceed my own expectations?

 My biggest goal was to qualify for Novice by my 27th birthday. I was able to do this 4 months before my deadline. Taking that point further, originally my idea was to qualify for Prizewinner by my 28th birthday. But now I'm sitting here and I'm like: "Well who's stopping me from stomping all over that goal now?" No one but myself.

There is no rule that I have to be in Novice a year. My TC's only stipulation is that I have to win one first in each of the five core dances. Maybe it's because I'm crazy competitive, maybe it's because I've always wanted to be the best right out of the gate for all the hobbies I've ever done. Maybe it's the fact that summer camp this year is split Beginner to Novice for one week and Prizewinner to Open champ another week and I don't want to be split up from several of my classmates. Maybe it's because I'm seeing all this progress and it's making me confident. Whatever it is, am I being ambitious or down right insane?

I know it's not going to be easy. I know that Novice is a bottle neck full of girls just out of Advanced Beginner like me and girls who have been at it for years. I know that I'm going to need to practice all the things that give me trouble to set myself apart from other beautiful and talented dancers. But I'm hoping with how determined I am and how often I compete that the hard work will pay off and this goal can be obtainable, and smashed well before I'm 28.

As usual, the journey might morph and the path might change, but it continues. The final destination: Open Championships.


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