I’m Down But I’m Not Out

While I’m not a huge Michael Flatley fan (I think he’s a bit full of himself, but then again rightfully so…) but I LOVE his quote that inspired the title of today’s entry. I’m in one of those inspired and “I’m going to be greatest Irish dancer in the history of the world” moments so let’s run with it.

I can be down because people have preconceived notions that once you hit a certain age you can no longer have dreams that don’t involve your career or if they aren’t vicariously through your children or in your own segregated competition. But I’m not out because I’m willing to prove to world how much I want this.

I can be down because sometimes it seems like the odds are against me. My region isn’t “adult friendly” or I’m one a few adults at a competition But I’m not out because for as much internet ridule and hypothetical walls that have been placed before me I have met 100 times more supportive people as well as multiple examples of ladies my age and older who made it to open champs.

I can be down because I’m turning 26 next week and I'm still just an advanced beginner. But I’m not out because I have two competitions with the opportunity to move into novice before I even transfer. I have also done enough research to know which & over competitions draw high numbers. I will get to open champs. I will work until people see me and get excited/nervous.

I can be down because I’ve had to deal with shin splints and sometimes my ankles hurt. But I’m not out because I will make my body stronger. I will perfect it until it becomes a beast. I finally have shoes that fit. I do exercises to make my calves and ankles stronger. I wear things that will keep my ankles stable. I ice and rest when I need to. I will not be injured again.

I can be down because I don’t have adequate practice space. But I’m not out because I will do what I can when I can. I will practice smart.

I can be down because I’m the oldest person in my class. But I’m not out because at almost 26 I can keep up with girls who have been at it longer and I ALMOST HAVE MY SPLITS BACK!!!!! I was also reminded by someone that if I was runner I would not have hit my peak for 5-10 more years. Bring it on dance.

In other news:

-I sold my old hard shoes! They weren’t even on Dance.net for 24 hours!!! I also am starting to think that I went too cheap and I shouldn’t have included shipping. Oh well. Their out of here and I have some money now!

-I wrote my “goodbye” letter to my current TC. Now I have to decide if I try to tell him in person or write it in an email or whatever. With how people are in my dance school I’m usually the first person to leave because all the parents talk to each other and TC, that and I’m SO AWKWARD. I also have to decide if I’m going to do it after the Hartford Feis or at the end of the season. This is for selfish reasons...I would like for my ban to be lifted in December and not January. Stay tuned for this one.

-Huge improvements in St. Pats and I can almost do the new slip jig step to music. The timing in the beginning is tricky but I’m confident I’ll work it out.

-I ordered a copy of Irish Dance Magazine. I’ll let you know if it’s worth a subscription of its “too young” for an adult dancer.

-My birthday is in 6 days. I’m excited but not at the same time…

-I’m really, really excited about what’s to come in my Irish dancing journey. It’s going to be a crazy ride this next year and eventually beyond. Looking forward to sharing more about it once the powers that be are filled in.

Enough for now,

Kay