Adulting Sucks...Sometimes

 I have a quick minute to update, so I here I am.

No weekly post because...I had to miss dance. again.

My son was sick earlier in the week, and even though he was doing much better by the weekend, I didn't feel comfortable leaving him with my parents and being almost an hour away if he did have a relapse or something. (He had a fever and cough) Unfortunately my husband works in retail, so his days off are rarely on the weekends so...adult decisions had to be made.

I'm trying to not dwell on it, to just turn the page because I still have two months (exactly eee!) until my first feis back and I think I've been doing a good job of cross training and preparing at home. I told myself when all of this started that it had to be different this time around to work. I plan on being there this week whether I'm still hacking a lung up or not because April Vacation for the studio is the following week. 

On a much more positive note, I have all of my steps now! I'm actually quite proud that I learned half of them via video and working at home. I'm almost positive that I learned this step or at least part of it back in the day. I never did it in competition but I had it in my back pocket for when I would be in prelim. Looking forward to turning my focus onto polishing and stamina (I know I'm insane) for the Hartford Feis on June 5th!

Another thing that I'm super proud of is that I'm in my final week of a 12 week workout program. I definitely see changes and I was telling the ladies in my senior ladies support group that other than dance (and I guess skating though the pandemic makes me sort want to put an * by this) I haven't' really followed through with anything in regards to my fitness. I got halfway through P90X-3 before we got to upper body things and I gave up. I'll be doing about a month hiatus from it to sort out my stamina before I do it again in the summer and then I'm hoping a higher level come Oireachtas season. I don't have any delusions of grandeur with recalls or anything, but I'd like to know that I was prepared as possible and danced my best.

To go back to adulting, I feel like the journey this time around has been different and weird, but in some ways I feel like I'm in more control and feel better than I did before I was pregnant. Yes, I was going to dance three days a week, but I was eating McDonalds in my car and I wasn't cross training other than what she had us do in the small studio while she worked with the opposite dance group. Since I can't afford to waste time and money this time around, and I'm only seeing Christian once a week (if I'm lucky) I have to prepare at home. And while I do practice about the same as before, the cross training really helped me.

Having a support system has been crucial as well. In the past I used to lament about this. My husband didn't "get" dance. I still don't think he does all the time, but I think he's seeing how much it is motivating me to get into shape. I think he sees the sacrifices I'm willing to make to make it work this time around. I'm blessed (and was pre Dominik as well) to have parents who are willing to help me in anyway they can. In the past it was coming to competitions with me, but now they watch my son so I am able to go without having to bring him to studio with me. Joining my SeniorIDAs accountability group has made me feel seen and given me some of the nurturing that I wasn't able to get from the teen girls as accepting as they are. I'm very contented with where I am. Are there days where I'm annoyed that I don't have the stamina for a full slip jig? Yes, but it's not time for that...yet.

I've also mentioned this before, I feel so lucky to have found my school back in the day. Courtney has helped me come so far and been there for my ups and downs. Now with Christian and Bailey too I feel like I have this really great group of people looking out for me and believing in me. I actually had planned on doing a feis at the end of May because I'm really excited to get back into things, and they all want to be there for my prelim debut, which I think is really sweet. 

So to wrap this up, I feel very much at peace at the moment despite my attendance being a little spotty. I've got spring break in two weeks and I'd like to go to a night time class if Jon is available. I'm looking forward to trying new workouts to get my stamina ready for the champ style competition format. Finally, I'm challenging myself to only compete in Connecticut between now and Oireachtas, though I think I may make one exemption in August. We'll see what happens.

Talk to you soon,

Kay